View Unfulfilled Expectations in a New Light

You worked hard for a promotion at work, and someone else got it. Or, you thought you’d be married by now, but there are no prospects in sight. Maybe you have a sickness or infirmity that immobilizes you or infertility prevents your dream of your own family.

Each of these are disappointing circumstances, at a minimum. It would be easy to think, “Why do these things always happen to me?” You look at others who appear less deserving, and marvel at how easily they move forward unhindered.

You, of all people, understand the verse: Hope deferred maketh the heart sick. (Prov. 13:12a) That word deferred means “drag along.” You can relate.

Part of unfulfilled expectations is the downward spiral that easily goes with it. You doubt that God cares and you fear your life will always be like this. You can’t get past “why?”

But the truth is that God has not disappeared. He is still sovereign, and He has His plans and purposes. It might encourage you to know that some of the most used-of-God people in the Bible had unfulfilled expectations. We’ll look at one.

The Apostle Paul was the first great missionary, and he had a crying need that he begged God to fulfill. Remember that thorn in the flesh?

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.  For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. (2 Cor. 12:7-10)

Paul received the “why” of his circumstance. It was so that he wouldn’t get too proud. It was a Satan-induced, God-prescribed infirmity to keep him humble. God knows what you would become if you received what you really want. He also knows what you can become if you don’t receive what you want. What God desires is that His strength be made perfect in your weakness. Let God shine. Like John said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30) Paul certainly got that. He got it so well, he was excited to have his physical ailment so God could become strong in his weakness.

Paul’s experience is also a model of And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Rom. 8:28) Even though Paul’s thorn in the flesh was the messenger of Satan, God used it. Again, God is sovereign. He’s in control, and He can work with and through anything for His purposes.

Read through Paul’s account of his thorn in the flesh again and ask God to show you what He wants you to learn, and ask Him to allow the lesson to stick and help you through your challenges.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (Jer. 29:11)

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. (Ps. 62:5)

Self-doubt is No Problem to God

“I don’t doubt God, I just doubt myself.” Have you ever had that thought? God is great, but you’re not sure you can live up to the expectations required to be right with Him. You know you’ll fall, because you have so many times before. Down in the dumps you go.

In this case, let’s fight failure with failure. By that I mean, don’t think too highly of yourself. Reduce your self-expectations. For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly. (Rom. 12:3a)

Soberly means moderately. You’re not that good, and you’re not that bad. You are clay. Truly. You were taken from the dust, and to the dust you will go. But for the grace of God, that’s about all.

The fact that you don’t think too highly of your abilities to stay right with God is better than being proud of the abilities you do have. Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him. (Prov. 26:12)

If nothing else, this book will teach you that being down on yourself is the first step in looking up to a great big God who loves to lift up people like you. If you are doubting yourself, you are half way to being on top of the mountain. But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. (James 4:6 AV)

The difference is, you need to take your focus off your inabilities and turn it to God, who will catch you when you fall. He forgives. He moves on. Move on with Him.

Resist the temptation to go deep within yourself to “figure yourself out.” A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. (Prov. 18:2)

What you need to know is, yes, you will likely fail. Even the apostle Paul grappled with that. He knew the right thing to do, but he found something inside that didn’t want to do it. Instead, he found himself doing the very thing he knew was wrong. That bugged him. (Read Rom. 7)

Here’s Paul’s conclusion about his failings: There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. (Rom. 8:1-2)

Your goal now is not to discover and trust your heart, but to discover and trust God’s. Lay down your self-expectations and follow after God.

Remember, the sparky things you do to lift yourself up amounts to “bodily exercise,” which profits little. But godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come. (1 Tim 4:8) The only work you need to do is work on your communication with God. Start listening to Him in His word, and start talking to Him in prayer.

The Big Challenge

I would guess that the single biggest cause of depression for Christians is a small, seeming innocuous condition called doubt. Why would I say that? What makes doubt so lethal?

Doubt is a shield. Only instead of a shield to ward off the enemy’s arrows, it’s a shield to protect yourself from God’s grace, which is activated by faith. Why would you do that?

You know, God can do anything, but He chooses not to when you doubt. You end up flailing around and eventually calling out to Him… more because you’re in trouble than because you believe.

Remember when Peter saw Jesus walking on the water and had a sudden impulse to walk on water himself? Jesus encouraged him, and he jumped out of the boat and walked on water, until he looked around at the wind and waves and was afraid and started to sink. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? (Matt. 14:31)

Jesus had more to say about doubt, in relation to faith: Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. (Matt. 21:21)

You may not be looking to move any mountains today. You would settle for a little peace and some hope. Fortunately, there’s a remedy for doubt. It’s called faith. Believe God. Work on holding up that shield of faith to ward off the darts of the devil. By the way, his darts are aimed at your mind. Satan’s tactic is to whisper in your ear, “God didn’t really mean that.” That’s what he did to Eve. (Read Gen. 3:1-4.) He planted doubt in her mind.

What if Eve would have held up the shield of faith—talked about in Eph 6:16? She wouldn’t have sinned, sending us all on the same path she took, doubting what God said and doubting that God meant what He said.

The key for you in getting over this malady is to find what God said that applies to your heart and your situation and believe it. Find a promise today. The Bible is full of them. Maybe you could start with this one. And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.  For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. (Luke 12:29-30)

Find God’s promise and pray it back, asking Him to make it true on your behalf today, and tell Him you believe. I promise, it will lift your spirits.